I have spent the last couple months on trying to find true happiness. I've cut off ties with people giving off negative vibes, and I have been meditating for an hour a day. I started working out for an hour a day about a month ago, and I'm starting to feel more healthy already. Overall my life has improved quite a lot. It's hard to think that just a few months ago I had purchased a gun with the intent to take my own life.
Suicide is like a giant glowing "EXIT" sign in a theater playing a movie not quite bad enough to walk out yet. There have been a few times in my life where I've stood up with the intent to walk out, but I've never quite made it all the way through the door. I'm glad for that. I can't imagine the sorrow my parents and peers would feel if I had left them.
I don't want to love the stereotypical american life, I want to do something more with my life. I am planning on joining the peace core, and devoting my life to helping the less fortunate. There is a very huge need for IT people, as most of the volunteers are older and inexperienced with technology. Over the next couple decades rural villages are going to have a huge wave of computers and electronics come over them, and there needs to be people to help manage their infrastructure.
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